marital trials
Every now and then a story occurs that just makes me sad. Such is the case of Ashley and Caleb Flynn. Allow us to share some specific, necessary-for-understanding details, while our concluding thoughts are really the point of this post...
37-year-old Ashley died in the middle of the night, one cold day in February, shot in the head at home in bed. Three days after his 911 call, husband Caleb Flynn was arrested, subsequently indicted on 11 charges total, including one count of aggravated murder, three counts of murder, two counts of felonious assault, three counts of tampering with evidence, and two misdemeanor counts of intimidation of an attorney, victim or witness in a criminal case.
40-year-old Caleb was a worship pastor at a Christian mega church in Dayton, Ohio. There’s nothing right/wrong about being a mega church; the description simply refers to a typically Protestant church where over 2,000 people gather weekly.
Ashley was a substitute teacher and local middle school volleyball coach. She and Caleb met in college. Notably, Caleb, who was a contestant on “American Idol” 13 years ago, would then speak of how beautiful and inspirational his wife was. “I love my wife more than anything!” They met in college and married soon after.
Caleb suggests he had nothing to do with his wife’s murder, and has thus pleaded “not guilty” to all counts against him. "We are a normal married couple who love each other” … ”I’ve never laid a hand on her,” he would say to the police. With his trial underway this past week, the defense began by suggesting Caleb is not guilty of anything other than loving his wife. Said defense attorney Emily Smith, “They [the prosecution] can’t show you whose gun killed Ashley. They can’t show you if Caleb had a gun in his hand that night. They can’t show you Caleb pulled the trigger.”
And she’s right. Those bringing the case again Caleb don’t have a gun. Granted, Caleb told police he owns a shotgun, pellet gun, and handgun, but the handgun is missing from its usual place of storage.
The trial has been sensationally revealing.
It turns out Caleb was having an affair with a worship leader at his church. She is 24-year-old Alleigha Botner. She was 21 when their relationship began. [Quick editorial note: 21 is very young.]
At trial, many of their hundreds of thousands of text messages were read aloud. These included the following:
From Caleb to Alleigha on May 16, 2025,“If I could literally kill her and not go to hell, I would do it in a heartbeat. That’s how dark and hateful I feel.”
Again on August 22, 2025, “I was up until 4 a.m. last night crying, literally trying to think of ways to kill her and not go to jail.”
And on the night of the murder, “I need to rid myself of douche [his derogatory name for Ashley] so that I can start completely free and give you all of me.”
Hours later, Ashley was murdered.
So just a few concluding thoughts, as this case grows in attention…
I’m amazed at all the many who plead “not guilty.” Do they think we are dumb? Do they think we won’t piece the logical together?…
I’m disgusted — assuming the evidence doesn’t lie — that murder was chosen over divorce. How cruelly selfish… why did you have to end the life of another? Why does any justify taking the life of another?…
I’m again resoundingly reminded how it’s the people of the Church who are imperfect, not Jesus, the Church itself, or what the Church teaches. May God’s people never keep us from seeing who God really is…
And lastly, I’m struck by the profound sadness when people choose evil… hurting so many others, eventually seemingly, destroying themselves.
God be with all of the innocent.
God be present in the sad.
Soberly…
AR
