one of the biggest habit changes in me
While away for my annual summer respite two months ago, as usual, I kept a running log of potential topics upon my return. It’s always a creative and semi-fascinating list — this year containing everything from how many times a congressional testifier can "take the fifth” to whether politicians or professional soccer players exaggerated emotion more. (Still debating that last one.)
With multiple topics remaining as candidates for a daily posting, I was impressed with the notion that there exists one matter more important to share prior to anything else. It simply speaks to my own authenticity, desiring to yes, respect all those who participate here, but also, if I’m honest, to encourage via my own humble learning.
It is indeed a humble learning. Let’s get a little more real…
None of us are perfect. None of us have absolutely all of it together, always look the part, and do everything with both excellence and ease.
We have a few screws loose. We make mistakes. There is need for us to say “I’m sorry.”
Unfortunately, with the prominence of social media, those moments in need of a sorry are oft visible for all to see. Maybe it’s not so bad; maybe it creates a bit of self awareness to prompt the wise apology.
But all of the above is simply to admit what a broken person I am. Allow me to define.
I speak not of any clinical nor medical diagnosis.
I also speak not of any painful, heavy state of emotional disconnection and distress.
What I’m more acknowledging is those imperfections referenced above. Sometimes it’s been me who’s been disrespectful. Sometimes it’s been me who had to have the last word. Sometimes it’s been me who justified the insult, refused to learn more or wrote off the other person until they thought more like me.
I know that about myself. I don’t really like it. And that’s what makes me broken.
2026 has been a year for me personally in which I’ve reflected a little more on what that means and why it means so much. I’ll attempt to explain.
There is no question this world was created by someone bigger, stronger, more powerful and wiser than me. For that matter, there is also thus no question this world was not created by any human nor any random kind of bang. Let’s be clear; for the bang to exist, someone had to create the elements involved in such an arbitrary explosion. There must be the Divine.
I know there are people who don’t believe in the Divine. I know there are many questions as to Who God is and to His existence. And that’s ok. I don’t believe olives and pickles are tasty and good, but my lack of belief doesn’t make something untrue. It simply takes more unseen faith to believe God doesn’t exist than He actually does.
All that to say that in 2026, I’ve made a semi-simple personal change. It started in January, at a time when I was notably, physically ill.
The extended illness prompted some extended reflection of how do I get through the day. How do I get through each day, seeking a strength that is greater than mine?
How do I get through each day, seeking a wisdom that is more than mine?
How do I get through each day, seeking an understanding that is far more extensive than mine?
With the recognition that the greatest strength, wisdom and understanding come from a holy God and not from me — aware of that imperfection and brokenness — the simple, biggest change I’ve made this calendar year is that each night, after the lights go down, my eyes are closed, and my head is sweetly resting on my pillow, I pause and give thanks.
The thanks is intentional and directional. It’s a very informal conversation, going something like this…
“God, thank You for today—for the things that went well, the things that didn’t, and all the ways You were there that I probably didn’t even notice. Help me look honestly at my day: where I trusted You, where I didn’t, where we aligned, where I loved people well, and where I made it more about me. Thank You for Your grace in all of it, and for reminding me again that You are God and You love and delight in me like crazy.”
It’s amazing how well I sleep these days. It’s been a wonderfully imperfect year.
Respectfully…
AR
